I am unable to remember how I arrived in this strange prison. All I know is that I have been a prisoner for many years. This isn’t an ordinary prison because I have the facilities to comfort myself. I have a Dell Inspiron laptop that can easily run games with high graphics and HD movies, I have “Creative Speakers” with subwoofer, that guides me to the amazing world of music for hours. There is no timetable and I can eat, sleep, wake up at any time I like. Above all, I have a high-speed internet connection which I call—”the gateway to the outside world”. Even the midst of luxuries, I always want to really explore the outside world: walk on the beach, enjoy the sunset, meet new people, meet the girl of my dreams, a real kiss from her etc. I don’t see any physical boundaries or walls here that stops me from my wishes. But I see a tall guy who pushes me back every time when I try to pursue my real-life dreams. He wants to see me in a tiny world, shielded away from all real-life enjoyments. Here I am, an introvert, like a scarecrow, unable to reap the good harvest that outside life has been offering to me.
I am the guard, the alter ego. I am the manifestation of mind, the beauty of solitude, the guide to self-realization. I had been dormant for years until I was exposed to the real nature of outside world. Outside world is an illusion that wraps pain with pleasure; it is like a red-carpet to a giant trap. An overly possessive mother is my teacher and life lessons, especially tragedies of others are my books. I uphold the truth that “Nothing is permanent” and we must not attach to the external world. The prisoner sees me as a cruel guard, but I am just a loving guardian who wants to shield him from the harsh realities of life. I don’t want him to bleed his heart while dealing with fake people who are crooked and cunning. The prisoner is someone who reads only the sports page and colourful advertisements of a newspaper, while I am someone who reads every other page which includes— death, rape, disease, natural calamity and the list goes on. Day-by-day I gain more strength because there is more news about tragedies in outside world than good news.
Like yin and yang, the prisoner and the guard are dependent but opposite forces. The struggle of an extroverted optimistic prisoner mind and introverted pessimistic guard mind for the total control of life continues…